Sunday, 15 September 2013

The Glastonbury Goddess conference 2013

Also better late than never....
The Glastonbury Goddess conference was another event I'd been wanting to do for a long time but not had the money or the opportunity, however this year I got lucky and bagged myself the last Melissa (working) ticket! Here's a day-by-day low down on Melissa-ing in Glastonbury:

Saturday 27th July I arrived at Heaphy's eatery (not realising before that they had accommodation - yay!) as they were full up at the Crown Inn, even though I booked weeks in advance. Beware people, July is a very busy time of year in Glastonbury! Book ridiculously early!

Sunday 28th July There were several groups meeting in different places, some of them meeting in the same places, and I got to the Camino too early and ended up in the wrong group. Daft me, and there was lots of shunting people around between venues. Awkward! But eventually I met Tina Free, Koko's Queen Bee replacement, for our meeting, and soon we were whizzing off to raid Morrisons and plan our ritual.

Monday 29th July I helped set up in the town hall, and in the afternoon, while preparing potatoes for the Melissas' feast, we took under our wings those who didn't know anyone or whose English wasn't so hot, and made them feel more at home. N'aww. By the time we were done the town hall looked like this:

 The main stage

Lydia Ruyle's banners




Tuesday 30th July I was on reception and it was all go from 8am onwards! We had morning talks, my favourite of which was on the body of the Goddess in the landscape of Avalon. We then got into Earth circle groups, picking from the first image below which group resonated the best with us (I picked caves in the Northwest, on the premise that getting ready for Spain was like my summer gestation period of waiting and preparing.) In the afternoon we moved trees into the town hall for the 'Welcome to Paradise' sacred drama in the evening which was very powerful, and bravo to the brave women who performed.


Standards



Wednesday 31st July We had morning talks (of which I enjoyed Jacqui Woodward-Smith's poetry the most). Another Melissa and I then filled little paper bags with the soil of the world that people had brought along - we had some interesting conversations but perhaps weren't filling the bags with quite the right energy we were supposed to! In the afternoon I went to Jane Meredith's workshop on healing our relationship with the wheel of the year. We moved physically through a representation of it on the floor, then stopped at when we were born, our favourite sabbat and our least favourite. Some people picked their least favourite because they didn't like the time of year, others because they didn't like the symbolic associations. Three of us hated Beltane, and we reached the joint conclusion that not meeting life/sexual expectations, being forced into life phases and generally getting left behind was the main reason.


In the evening we attended an amazing Lammas ritual in Bushey Combe, led by fire priestesses after a procession. There were some random kids off the street who had tagged along and they ended up having a great time.There was an atheist French girl from our dorm who had come for 'the day' and was still there after 5 days, busting some moves in the drum circle afterwards.












Thursday 1st August I went to morning prayers in the goddess temple, then on my free day I ended up, by chance, at Chalice Well's Lammas ritual for free, just in time. It was really lovely and multifaith too.





 I went for a walk afterwards to clear my head, ended up filling it with crap and ended up phoning Jacqui, who was the on-call conference counsellor so I could spew some rubbish at her for a bit (picking up pretty much where we left off in counselling last year.) Apparently my timing was just right lol. In the evening we had a sacred drama with a lot of touchy subjects which we didn't get a lot of warning for (but it was very thought-provoking nonetheless.) Afterwards I went to the pub with Bee and Simon (Swansea mooters) for much drunken political ranting and accompanied their friend back to the Covenstead to help 'finish off beers' before going back to Canada - my pleasure.

Friday 2nd August In the morning talks we had an introduction to the Motherworld, and Kathy Jones made a good point about people's reluctance to imagine a positive vision of mothers ruling the world (they're so unpleasant because they grew up in a patriachal society, apparently.) I was on reception with Roz in the afternoon, followed by the Healing the wounds of Patriarchy ritual. Well that brought up some shit and a half. We were to project our anger into stones representing our fears and inadequacies. Ouch.There was a lot of screaming and shouting (Jacqui had her work cut out), but it was lovely at the end, walking through a tunnel of people saying lovely things to you. It was later criticised as being 'dangeous and borderline evangelical', as indeed there hadn't really been enough space for everyone to do what they needed to do, but I got a lot out of it as I'm used to facing my own shit and actually felt in control. We were packed in like sardines though and there wasn't space for everyone to feel safe doing it.

Saturday 3rd August I barely slept because of a delightful roommate who insisted on snoring like a foghorn, but we had a great grounding of the motherworld ceremony and our final Earth circle and a Belgian pair handed out handmade barefoot sandals which cheered me up.


In the afternoon I melissaed at a sacred dance workshop I wouldn't have volunteered to join in with, but I got sucked in anyway by the very talented and weirdly reminded me of one of my book characters (Carolina) and I ended up really enjoying it. I went back to the hostel to grab a much-needed late afternoon kip but snorer was in there at it - so the gala ball in the evening would've been nice but we were working flat out and I could barely stay awake. In fact I did fall asleep during a very loud music performance and the other melissas sent me back early, which would've been fine, only snorer got there first so I got no more sleep anyway. Not cool. At least I looked cool turning up wearing this:


Sunday 4th August I got even less sleep the next night and was in a foul mood through the morning procession (it was also pissing it down somewhat) - I was all sung and danced out, but there was no end to the singing and dancing. We then had a gift exchange ceremony which was very nice (I suppose because I was well prepared for it what with Earthspiritcreations closing), followed by packing up. In the evening there was an awesome Dutch pair who turned up at the hostel, and since Sunday night is karaoke night, you can either attempt to sleep through it or you can join in - and despite sleep deprivation and a sore throat I did (to Weird Al songs), and also figured that I might sleep through snorer with a few beers down my neck.

Monday 5th August WRONG. I woke up in quite the rage as I'd now lost so much sleep it was making me ill. I had to text in to say I couldn't help out, and had to phone in sick to work, and by the time I got to see my darling Gingy (who lives en route), I was already beginning to cough and splutter on her. Cheers snorer. Even this picture doesn't quite cut how tired the average Melissa was by the end of it:


But hey I got really cool pics like this:


Verdict - Would I do it again? I enjoyed it very much but I won't Melissa again if I can afford the student ticket - it would've been exhausting just being there never mind working too.

Good stuff - It wasn't what I was expecting, but it was an  enriching, diverse experience and an ample opportunity to network, which was what I hoped to get out of it. It was lovely seeing so many Spanish and otherwise Europeans there, and I now have Pagan contacts in Madrid. I felt like I was doing really good Goddess service, giving thanks for the good fortune I'd had in the previous few weeks. It was very well organised so thanks to Kathy and the team.

Bad stuff - I found the 'Motherworld' a bit daft in places, and I disliked the 'motherline' as an assumption that cisgendered females must have children. It seemed to reinforce this paradoxically ghastly Pagan feminist ideal that bearing a child is the most important thing a girl can aspire to. I've always got to speak for the minorities too - is was pretty cishet centric, and if you weren't a cis, straight woman you weren't really mentioned. Men are ok if they're feminised - gay people are alright, we're accepting like that - trans* people - oh well, I'm sure you'll slot in somewhere (not actually said but I could feel it.) There was a feeling of 'look how wonderful this is, now go spread the word!' with little room for discussion or debate at all. I guess the Avalon tradition is more different from what I'm used to than I thought - it's very relevant for Glastonbury dwellers and as much as I adore Glastonbury, it made me realise I definately made the right choice with Reclaiming. I know that's where my heart is!



)O(

Friday, 13 September 2013

Times of Hope and Chaos - A Weekend with Starhawk




Well, this post is extraordinarily late, I hear you say, for an event that took place in mid-May – however I’ve spent the summer juggling a full time job, a long distance relationship and writing a novel, so bear with me folks. This weekend workshop was too fabulous to neglect writing about altogether, so better late than never. The trip also included meeting lots of new people, attending the brilliant Glastonbury moot at the Mitre Inn, tea and chats with our friends at the Buddleia Bar, an evening music event by local group StarSong, a Reclaiming UK meeting and a cosy late night ritual on top of the Tor. The workshop was advertised on Starhawk’s website like so:


It began with an exceptionally crappy year, whereby when I finally had enough money to book a place at the workshop only to discover they’d only just sold out of places, I was mortified yet not terribly surprised. I decided to go to Glastonbury that week anyway on an enormous job hunt (which unfortunately was unsuccessful, but I eventually found work elsewhere for the summer.) With a heavy heart I traipsed up to the Goddess temple to ask Kathy Jones if there was the slightest possibility that there would be a spare ticket going despite having sold out weeks before, and she told me she’d let me know. I realised I may as well make a little holiday out of my job search trip, thinking I’d get nothing more out of it, and my friend Emily came to stay for a couple of days. Just as I was heading to the hostel with her after picking her up from the bus stop, Kathy came bouncing down the street towards me to tell me there was one weekend ticket left (which had ME bouncing about for a good few hours.) I took Emily round the shops and showed her a picture of Starhawk in a book, to which she smiled and nodded with mild interest. In the evening we were heading up the Tor, and while my mind was a million miles away, she said to me, “Isn’t that that woman out of the book?” pointing up ahead to where Starhawk was climbing the Tor towards us and I thought I might just lose my footing and go tumbling all the way down. She took to pinging the bobble on my coat which yeah, would be amusing after an exhausting European tour. She proceeded to do yoga in the rain on top of the Tor while I bounced up and down all night like a mad puppy.

I took notes throughout the weekend and I’ve put together a summary of them along with my own personal reflections both on what was presented and work I’ve done from Starhawk’s books and Reclaiming material in the past.

She began the workshop with exercises I recognised from The Earth Path, anchored/grounded walking, a way to keep calm in times of stress and panic and a way she trains protestors not to be knocked down, spiritually or physically. It involves grounding and being rooted and moving around and being aware of your surroundings at the same time, which seems paradoxical but it really works. We then cast a circle with a visualisation of our favourite colour – everyone in the circle had their own favourite colour so they were woven together in a tapestry of 60 odd ribbons. We then created allies to an Element that we feel drawn to – I picked Earth allies of strength, patience, and the life force of trees.

Any magickal work begins with a vision or an intention, and we connected to Deep Self through Talking Self and Younger Self (terms used in Reclaiming for different levels of the psyche – Talking Self never shuts up and doesn’t really pay attention to what’s going on around you, and Deep Self is a lot like your subconscious – pretty much the opposite); Younger Self understands things the way a child does, through symbolism of candles, colours and shapes. We were asked to create a symbol that embodies a clear image of what we wanted to achieve (rather than focussing on what we don’t want) – standing FOR something positive rather than AGAINST something negative. Even if you don’t succeed you’ve built something that’s one step closer to success.

We were asked to envision a future based upon the following points:

·         Where does the energy come from? (spiritual and material)
·         How do you teach the young?
·         How do you care for the old/ sick/ disabled?
·         Where do you collect your water?
·         How do you make your livelihood?
·         What does the place look like?
·         Are there any new technologies?
We were then asked, what is sacred to you? I remember reading this first in the Spiral Dance aged 17 and wasn’t sure what to say. Aged 20 going on 21, I had to say:

·         Sustainability
·         LGBT rights
·         Teaching
·         Communication

Aha! My life has direction and I didn’t even realise it. We were asked, how do you take the first steps towards this future? For me, it would be teaching in Spain and working with Spanish Reclaimers in the coming year. What would it be for you?

Starhawk then touched on contemporary social and environmental issues, which last May was the Occupy Movement and anti- Monsanto marches, and Fracking was just seeping into public consciousness. She talked about techniques for direct action, protests and teaching, getting people to notice things on Facebook, and generally making some noise! We need to be healed, as much if not more so than the Earth – She will survive and regenerate and life will spring forth, but we may not! She then explained what she’d seen of the behaviour of people when faced directly with these challenges:

1.       In the wake of Monsanto, people may hide away during this new transition period to build sustainable eco-communities, and to make the change grow in small pockets of land.
2.       But it’s also important to interfere with the destruction – standing up and stopping it, to be a force against it.
She highlighted that both of these reactions are important in tandem. She went on to explain that in times of chaos, many people turn to right-wing structures, rigid, destructive, seemingly ‘structured’, ‘organised’, and overall, secure – but people need alternatives. When systems people depend upon collapse, opportunities arise to start creating the new. 

The Occupy movement, she pointed out, to my surprise, was made up mostly of people not previously involved in activism. Perhaps that shouldn’t come as such a surprise to someone launched into an interest in political activism through one conference (see previous post on relations between LGBT and Pagan communities.)

So she asked us next:

·         How do we use what we have to tap into creating what we could have?
·         How do we deal with systems of power that seem so much bigger than we are?

To this she came up with an amazing set of ideas, and as ever with Starhawk, always one or two you’d never have thought of.

1.       Their power is partly in our consent – we tacitly lend our consent to support systems we may or may not agree with, but what pillars exist to support this? It requires public ignorance. How do we change this?
2.       Lobby politicians, write to MPs.
3.       Mobilise peoples’ non-compliance – make a pledge of resistance.
4.       Campaign, investigate, research, educate, hold public meetings, liase with the media, form affinity groups, take part in or run non-violence trainings, use alternative forms of pest control (like the NO spray pledge).
Big corporations want three things; money, power, and to look good. The politicians who pass the laws also care about looking good. The easiest way to make them look bad is to undermine their power! This can be done by forming a group discussion – make everyone feel welcome, make everyone’s contribution valuable, despite disabilities, children in tow, etc. The more people involved, the more widespread a movement you can organise. To achieve success, push corporations and politicians into negotiation. Upcoming at the time, on the 25th May, was the International Day against Monsanto, with marches and meetings all over the world, giving people an ample opportunity to put this into practice. As a final question for the day, Starhawk put to us:

1.       How do you put your opponent in a dilemma? How to make the inherent violence visible and shift public opinion? These were the solutions and observations the group came up with:

·         Seed shares/ seed bank
·         Create a framework for social change
·         Use organic seed/plant stockists
·         Hybrid seeds contain natural genes whereas GM seeds are completely outside nature – open pollinated seeds will breed true.
·         Overuse of pesticides leads to the farmers needing to use more and more as the pests build resistance
·         Redistribution of land

In the second day of the workshop, entitled ‘Power, magick and co-creation’, there was a shift in emphasis from what was happening to short-term and long-term plans of what we can do about it. We began with a game of power dynamics, acting as robots and controllers. The robots had no control and the controllers had complete responsibility to keep the robots running and functioning efficiently (walking around and not breaking anything/themselves.) The number of robots and controllers changed throughout the game, and afterwards some interesting observations were made:

·         Everyone else is playing along, they can’t break down the system.
·         You think the people controlling you are in control – but they’re not!
·         Multinational corporations are scared of us getting out of control – what if we don’t buy their products?
·         The choices get fewer and fewer until it leads to a breakdown of society, descending into chaos – there is potential for rebellion.
·         The more we attempt to control, the more energy it takes and the harder it becomes – the challenges come from the ‘need’ to control, so be more vulnerable and you will have more energy.

It was a brilliant group we had that weekend, with more people on the second day than the first, from a variety of different Pagan and non-Pagan, activist and non-activist backgrounds, and I was grateful for their many and new insights. We invoked the elements in the circle by dividing into groups of elements, with the following representations:

·         Air – unusual sounds and noises
·         Fire – Rhythms, drums, clapping
·         Water – Song and music
·         Earth – Silence and gestures

We were left to come up with a way to present these motions as part of a small ritual piece, but were not given much time to do it given the large size of each group. We were asked afterwards to report back on how we decided what to do. I was in the musical water group and we decided, very quickly and seemingly on consensus, to sing ‘The River is Flowing’, a popular and appropriate Pagan tune. However, due to the lack of time, we’d just broken into song, a song that everyone seems to love – but not everyone had input. There was a blind woman in our group who was not told which way everyone was facing and any actions we had spontaneously put into our performance, we didn’t decide whether everyone was actually happy with that song, and we didn’t decide on which version of the lyrics to use.

In Starhawk’s wonderful way, a game and a performance turned neatly into a discussion about consensus within groups. The wonderful thing about Reclaiming is the way in which everyone is made to feel included, and actively so, in a way that I rarely if ever see in other Pagan traditions. Starhawk will deliberately address any and every type of minority or anyone ‘different’ who might be present at a workshop or reading her book or accessing her material and work in some way or other. It took longer to explain diagrams to the blind woman, when there were so many people in the group and time was so constrained, but she did it – a complete understanding in the group could not have been reached without it.

Consensus means you have your say, it doesn’t mean you have your way! It’s reserved for crucial or important decisions as they take a lot of time and energy. Starhawk then referenced Thomas Seeley’s work on studying honeybee democracy, and how a swarm of bees make decisions. Scouts are sent out to find a new place to live, and when they return, their different dances mean different things – when enough scouts do the same dance they reach a consensus. If they can’t decide on a place to live, they could break into two, lose the Queen and the whole hive will die. Bees are pack insects as humans are pack animals – if the group splits, it can fall apart permanently.

Next Starhawk presented an image from her new book, ‘The Empowerment Manual’, called the ‘Talisman of Healthy Community’ (pictured.)




She explains it with the following points:

·         In a healthy group you have a  balance of elements
·         There are different levels of social power even if everyone has the same level of formal power
·         Groups in a decentralised fashion evolve like butterflies ; egg – caterpillar – butterfly
·         Question ‘unearned’ power – listen to people with good ideas regardless of education/background, or you would lose that person’s perspective.

In LGBT circles we often talk about ‘privilege’ or ‘unearned power’ within groups and communities, so power dynamics in groups was something  I was quite familiar with and something I recognise as being important to pay attention to while working with a group. In a meeting or longer group session, there needs to be an opportunity for people to say something they might not have felt comfortable saying earlier; there needs to be an open and understanding space for someone to be able to take the risk to bring this up. When someone actually did this in the workshop, we observed the way we laughed at the serious point that was made, using humour to face pain or danger. Clear communication helps build trust – there needs to be a way to hold people accountable.

We were encouraged to think of occasions when social or formal power was abused in groups we have worked with, or when the group dynamics have been unbalanced or the group fell apart entirely. This caused the tension in the room to rise quite considerably as people remembered in anger the way their efforts had been poured down the drain in fragmented and non-cohesive groups. I gave two examples:
1.       In a Pagan group I worked with, two women with formal power in the group took advantage of anyyone and everyone, and eventually also gained so much social power that no one challenged their bullying and unjustified banishing of various group members.
        In a volunteer work group I was part of in Spain, there was enormous pressure on everyone to interact constantly, which as an introvert I found very claustrophobic. The project language was English, and it was very intimidating for those who didn’t know anyone or didn’t speak much English.

The final part of the workshop focussed on different types of groups and networks. First were the hierarchy trees,  a great way of spreading things out with a focal point, then fishnet/ tangles/ knots – not impossible to communicate with but it has a more complex structure.

·         Webs are a good tool for talking to equals, but perhaps not so much with authority figures. They are good for establishing relationships between equals who share common values – but it may be harder to weed someone out with a hidden agenda. Every disagreement is a moral test.
·         Hierarchy trees are sometimes seen as neo-feudalism, but on the other hand they are an efficient way for information to flow easily and quickly up and down the ‘branches’ of the tree. We need to be able to tell a demand from a request and watch how we frame out conversations.

Things can easily go wrong in both types of structure, but Starhawk here, based on forty years’ experience, gives some positive advice for organising an event in a group, here a ritual:

·         There needs to be specific intent
·         One focus per cone of power
·         One gift per drum-trance (don’t over-libate)
·         When negative feedback emerges, it needs to be dealt with in a timely fashion – will the critique be private or public? What can be changed?

Thankfully she also gave advice on what to do when the shit really hits the fan. I think every Pagan who has worked in a group has come across, at some point or other, the horrible term people try to avoid – ‘bitchcraft’, when it rears its ugly head. Fortunately here Starhawk once again comes to the rescue on how to save (or at least minimise the lasting damage of) a warring group that has fallen out over a particular incident:

·         Come up with a communication agreement (don’t end up having a meeting about a meeting.)
·         Younger Self may yell – “No-one listens to me!” Strong feelings are valid but there are many ways of looking at the issue – be gentle with yourself.
·         DON’T try to resolve conflicts over email – quote – “I will disenvowel you! [i.e., take all the vowels out] if you refuse to talk to me about this face-to-face.” Unquote. Bad email communication can be used as an excuse - you can’t pretend you didn’t mean what you wrote! So much communication is non-verbal, which doesn’t come through in email.
·         Say, “Can you tell me what it is specifically I’m doing to abuse my power? I can see you’re feeling something but you have to take responsibility to tell me what I’ve done to evoke those feelings – if you can’t then I can’t take your criticism seriously.”
Or:
“I’d love to hear DIRECTLY from YOU what has upset you. Please come to me directly – I’ll find out eventually anyway.” (Don’t gossip about me behind my back – my spies, they are everywhere!) (N.B, Starhawk did not actually say this.)

The workshop was followed by a UK Reclaiming meeting, the first I had attended, since my Reclaiming involvement is mostly with the Spanish group. It was with a deep sense of irony that there were many people who deliberately were not present (apparently a little while ago an online spat had occurred that divided the UK Reclaiming community right down the middle, beyond repair – I opted not to get involved or even ask what happened.) Starhawk was fully aware of this and seemed slightly shifty about it – however the meeting went well, much was planned and it was the best UK networking opportunity I’ve been given.
April and May was a good time for my progression in involvement in activism, with inspiring LGBT and Pagan leaders to learn from in intensive sessions in such a short space of time. It thrills me that Starhawk’s teachings reaches all corners of the Pagan community and hopefully, in time, beyond; we are always faced with new political, environmental and societal challenges, and four months down the line we are facing crisis in Syria and unscientific badger culls – but the people are mobilising! And it’s wonderful to see!

The workshop was given as a promotion for Starhawk’s new book, ‘The Empowerment Manual: A collaborative guide for groups’, and a video was shown as a new teaser for the movie of ‘The Fifth Sacred Thing’, her revolutionary ecotopian novel. The link for the book on Amazon is here:


And here is a free bonus chapter in PDF format!


And I’ll leave you with the fabulous video and link to the movie website:



Go forth and demand the impossible!